Welcome to the Church of SQRLS Web Site!
(Church of SQRLS,
FDA-Worshipping Diocese)
DON’T DO THIS!!!! Sub-Page
Last Updated 21 April 2018
By the High SQRLSy Priest /
Priestess (AKA The SQRLSy One)
( Email me at SQRLSy_1@ChurchofSQRLS.com )
Return to root page at www.ChurchofSQRLS.com
Please excuse this bit of repetition from the text surrounding
the link to here, from the main page, but…
This is about how one should definitely NOT build one’s own homemade
lung flute, since this would be HIGHLY disrespectful towards Government
Almighty and patent lawyers and so forth!
I do hope that the following comment will not be TOOOO terribly
disrespectful of Government Almighty, but sometimes, it seems that Government
Almighty passes SOOO many laws, that we’re just not sure any more, what’s
allowed, and what’s not allowed! Google
the following phrase: “Three felonies a
day”, and you’ll see what I’m writing about.
So, as a pubic service, I am spelling out fairly precisely, what NOT to
do here, so as to NOT fall afoul of Government Almighty! Please proceed…
I have noticed that “The Google Knows All”, and that The
Google, when prompted, will even come up with suggested associated search
string, such as, “homemade lung flute” (that one most of all), AKA lung flute,
homemade, home made lung flute, lung flute home made, lung flute, home made,
etc. At some time ago (months, a few
years ago at most), I ***DID*** find associated links for this kind of
topic! But I can NOT find ANYTHING along
these lines recently!
Now excuse my momentary digression, but (if you keep on
reading) you will find the “method to my madness” shortly. I am a devout adherent of Scienfoology; this
cannot be doubted by sane humans. But,
if you will investigate Scientology (a TOTALLY DIFFERENT religion!), you will
find that they ***SAY*** that Scientology is compatible with ANY and EVERY other
religion! But in reality, if you pay
your thousands and thousands of dollars (of voluntary “contributions” to this
“church”, wink-wink, nudge nudge), then you will be allowed to take their
“religious training”. HOWEVER, if you
keep on saying things like “I believe that Jesus is The Way”, or “I believe
that The Buddha is The Way”, then somehow, mysteriously, you will find yourself
FAILING the Scientology training courses!
And having to take them over and over and over again, and having to make
more “donations”!!! In order to “advance
up the bridge” of Scientology, or some such mumbo-jumbo. And you only “advance up the bridge” AFTER
you finally learn to say, “I believe that The L. Ron Hubbard is The Way, and
The Only Way”.
Now we (me and the mouse in my pocket, and ten gazillion
other followers of my Church) adherents of Scienfoology are NOT that way at
ALL!!! Not only will we NOT accept “contributions”
in order to get “training”, we really and truly DO accept followers of other
religions as well! In order to be a GOOD
Scienfoologist, ***ALL*** that you need to do, is to accept Government Almighty
into your heart, as Your Savior!
Now PLEASE excuse this bit of repetition from the main
page, but, at this point I am UTTERLY OVERCOME by the Spirit of Scienfoology Stuff
and Stuff, and so we MUST divert to a moment of Worship! Please join me in Song and Praise! THEN we will return to matters at hand!
Scienfoology Song…
Please note that GAWD = Government Almighty’s Wrath
Delivers!
Government loves me, This I
know,
For the Government tells me
so,
Little ones to GAWD belong,
We are weak, but GAWD is
strong!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
My Nannies tell me so!
GAWD does love me, yes
indeed,
Keeps me safe, and gives me
feed,
Shelters me from bad drugs
and weed,
And gives me all that I
might need!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
My Nannies tell me so!
DEA, CIA, KGB,
Our protectors, they will
be,
FBI, TSA, and FDA,
With us, astride us, in
every way!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
My Nannies tell me so!
So NOW you will perhaps
TRULY understand that sometimes I will write as both a Devout Scienfoologist,
***AND*** as a devout Christian, for example!
If you can follow along, that would be GREAT!
Now,
then, back to the history of “homemade lung flute”, as illuminated by the
above. PLEASE understand that as a
Christian, I have to “love the sinner, but hate the sin”. And as a Devout Scienfoologist, I simply
***MUST*** bow and worship Government Almighty!
That’s the context in which we can best follow the below, then…
So “homemade lung flute” leads us to just about nowhere! It leads us to https://www.dailystrength.org/group/copd-emphysema/discussion/homemade-lung-flute and to http://www.vsplanet.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=996178 where both sub-links go to the void… Courtesy of “Tom” AKA “Tommix” AKA “Tom
Mix”. Also the same is true of “Karen M.
Rose”, who used to have a You-Tube video out there about this, but https://www.pinterest.com/pin/458382068302751361/ shows the name of “Karen M Rose” as having built a
homemade lung flute, but the video is no longer available.
So
the Christian in me says that “Tom Mix” and “Karen M.
Rose” are hopefully being forgiven for their Government-Almighty-disrespecting
sins, and aren’t in solitary confinement (without a trial) for too terribly
long, or otherwise suffering. The
Scienfoologist in me wants to see ‘em being “hung high” for their blasphemy
against patent lawyers and Government Almighty!!! Blending my two belief systems together, I
would note that Jesus told us something along the lines of, “Give to Government
Almighty, that which belongs to Government Almighty, and give to, um, what was
it, your own free-will Conscience or some such, and your own moral intuition,
that which belong to your own moral intuition”.
Almost EVERYTHING belongs to Government Almighty these days, and so I am
VERY GLAD that I can still use my own fingernails to scratch my own butt,
WITHOUT a prescription! Now, as soon as
I manufacture a “device” to help me scratch my own butt, that will probably be
called a “medical device”, and I will risk the wrath of Government Almighty.
In summary of all the above, just
let me say this: “Tom Mix” and “Karen Rose”
may or may not be suffering horribly for their sins, but it would sure be a
tragedy compounded if we were NOT to learn our lessons from their
misdeeds! We should ALL know EXACTLY
what is forbidden to do! So, as a pubic
service, I will document fairly precisely, what we should NOT do, so that we
can all be “fully informed”, in order to enable ourselves to escape the Wrath
of Government Almighty! Jesus told us
that “The Truth will set you free”. So I
believe that the FULL Truth, in as much detail as is possible, should be
provided to you, Dear Reader, about what NOT to do, here, that you may NOT fall
into Sin and Disobedience against Government Almighty!
Bear with me as I momentarily divert
to a “general lung flute update” of sorts, since it has been since November of
2016 that I have last updated these pages here, and it is now Feb. of 2018
here. First off, please note that the
“Medical Acoustics” version of the lung flute STILL requires a prescription,
but ONLY in the US of A, AKA the “Land of the Free, and Home of the Brave”.
It is a sad-sad day, when those heathen foreigners in those heathen
foreign lands are NOT being properly protected from physician-unsupervised
blowing on cheap plastic flutes! Perhaps
our USA soldiers should be invading those lands to bring TRUE civilization to
the heathens! But I digress from my
digressions…
So here you go:
http://www.lungflute.com/BUY-LungFlute.aspx "Medical Acoustics" for the original lung flute still
says...
Patients in the USA or any US
Territory require a prescription to buy the Lung Flute
Once you have a prescription you can buy the Lung Flute directly online
Lung Flute orders for other countries do not require a prescription
$49.50 in mainland USA, includes
shipping.
The mysteries go on and on. Can I safely build a similar device for making noises to attract elephants or ephelumps? Or, to repel such elephants or ephelumps? Or, for making party-celebrating whistles? Or party-goer repeller devices? Such-type assorted other uses of a device of this kind are detailed on the main page at www.ChurchofSQRLS.com … Go there and search for “ephelumps” for more details.
The other use of such devices that is described in EXCRUCIATING detail (TRUST me on THIS one!) on the main page at www.ChurchofSQRLS.com is that such devices (or any other) can be used for non-medical, RELIGIOUS RITUALS uses on your religious effigy. The religious rituals tap into the vast, and usually underestimated, “placebo powers”, and (must I repeat?) they are strictly NON-medical. So hopefully we Scienfoologists can get special exemptions from the FDA. However, the FDA has NEVER explained to me (or anyone else that I know of), HOW do Scienfoologists (or others) get special religious exemptions? Also note that (as once again detailed on the main page), using NON-medical devices on YOUR OWN PERSONAL BODY (as opposed to your religious effigy) is a HORRIBLE violation of Scienfoology practices, and I am clearly agitating AGAINST such violations! Search the main page for HAM, AKA “Heresy, Apostasy, & Malpractice”.
So let me state it straight out: PLEASE DO NOT PERFORM ANY OF THE STEPS OUTLINED HERE!!! Do not gather the materials and assemble them as described!!! ***IF*** you are going to NOT listen to me, and make such a device or devices of this or similar kinds, then PLEASE be sure to hire an army of lawyers to advise you!!! And IF you are going to use such devices on your religious effigy, then do it ONLY by remote control, behind and 18-foot-tall (or taller) 3-yard-thick (or thicker) blast-proof safety wall made out of unobtanium!!! (Do NOT come belly-aching to me, if you ignore my sage advice!)
OK, let’s get ON with it, then, shall we?
WHAT NOT TO DO!!!
Do NOT (for the
Ever-Bleeding LOVE of Government Almighty!!!) obtain the following:
‘1)
A cutting implement capable of cutting plastic (a saw).
‘2)
A hole-drilling implement capable of drilling plastic (a drill).
‘3)
A clear-plastic turkey baster (large pipette), or similar “flute body”.
‘4)
Some stiff (but flexible) plastic to form the “reed”. Best is “acetate” sheet, as was used by “foil
flippers” on overhead projectors, in the “good old days”. Office supply shops still carry these, so if
you want to follow my good advice, and NOT get some of this acetate stuff, a
good place to NOT get it, is at “Office DePot”.
‘5)
A pair of scissors for NOT cutting the acetate “reed”.
‘6)
A nail which is at least ¾ of an inch longer than the OD (Outer
Diameter) of the tube, where you want to NOT anchor the reed!
‘7)
Needle and thread, for NOT sewing the acetate “reed” end into a loop,
for NOT lassoing the acetate loop onto the nail. The thread should also NOT be used for
“fishing into place”, the reed, for nail placement. ALTERNATE:
For NOT forming the reed into a loop, a staple or staples would be
easier to add, than NOT having to sew some stitches! If you have a working, loaded stapler handy,
I would recommend NOT using it, to NOT save some work!
‘8)
Duct tape, for NOT wrapping around the outside-of-the-flute-body end of
the nail, to NOT keep the nail from sliding out of the flute body.
Now
let’s just write out the non-bulletized (pretty simple) written instructions,
on what should NOT be done: Do NOT take
the turkey baster and discard the squeeze bulb.
Optionally, do NOT cut off a wee tad of the constricted (fluid up-sucking)
“business end” of the baster, so as to NOT allow for more air inflow volume, at
the “lips” end. Do NOT “deburr” this cut
end. Do NOT drill a hole ½ or 3/4th
of an inch or so, from the “lips” end of the turkey baster, clear through both
walls of the tube, with drill diameter slightly greater than the OD (Outer
Diameter) of the nail. Do NOT cut a
“reed” shape of acetate to fill most (but not all) of the inner shape of the
tube, with clearance left for oscillations in the reed. Do NOT leave extra length at the “lips” end of
the reed, for sewing (or stapling) a loop.
Do NOT sew (or staple) a loop end onto the reed. Do NOT use a temporary long piece of thread
to snag the loop, and pull it from the bulb end of the tube, towards the “lips”
end of the tube (having NOT passed the thread through the lips end). Do NOT “jigger” and rotate the reed loop till
it is aligned with the nail-holes, and pass the nail through the holes and the reed-loop
(while looking through the clear plastic tube-walls). And finally, do NOT remove the temporary
“jiggering” thread, and do NOT thicken the non-head or sharp end of the nail,
with duct tape, so as to NOT secure the nail and prevent it from sliding
out. Don’t do ANY of these
things!!! Ye have been WARNED!!!
This
is the essence of what to NOT do. Now, I
will prepare drawings and/or photos, for the mechanically not-inclined, or,
alternately, for those who find my writings to be obtuse. Once again, I want it to be as clear as I can
make it, what it is, that you should NOT do!
I want to PROTECT you from sin and wrong-doing!
A
friendly reminder for the readers out there, in all of their millions and
billions… The above illustrates what NOT
to do!!! Especially if you do NOT want
to be lovingly punished by your favorite patent lawyers and their ever-eager
Government Almighty enforcers! However,
I didn’t want to clutter up my drawings with endless repetitions of “do NOT do
THIS!” So the above is provided “as
is”. Reader, beware!
So
in the same vein, let me add just one more drawing (this time from the “top”,
or an edge-on view of the reed), to clarify what I mean by using some thread to
NOT jigger and pull and twist or rotate the reed, for NON-nail placement. This is why the tube-wall (of the rube-wall) should
NOT be transparent (“clear”, to use a favored Scientology term, hereby
“culturally appropriated” for Scienfoological uses, perhaps)… The tube-walls should NOT be “clear”, so as
to PREVENT your vision-guided placement of the nail through the
acetate-reed-sown-loop! So as to PREVENT
your egregious SINS!!!
In ALL of my
many-many sincerely held religious beliefs, I do ***NOT*** want you to fall
into sin!!! Not into sin against
Government Almighty, the patent lawyers, L. Ron Hubbard, the FDA, the
physician’s cartel, the AMA (American Mendaciousness Association), or ANYONE
else! THAT is why the above drawings,
etc., are provided, is to PROTECT you, by providing detailed information about
what you should NOT do!
However, if all is NOT “clear” to you, I wouldn’t
actually-really-sincerely recommend that you go to the so-called “Church” of
Scientology. I would, instead, sincerely
recommend that if you need “clarification” into the state of being “clear” about all this (about what NOT to do), that you write me an email
at SQRLSy_1@ChurchofSQRLS.com … BE GOOD!!!
(If’n ye cannot be GOOD, at least be GOOFY!!!).
At this point, “I just don’t
know any more”, what to say or do. The
only somewhat-open question that I can see that remains is…
WHAT exact model of turkey
baster should I NOT use, to create such a dangerous, potentially
civilization-as-we-know-it-destroying device?!?
I went to Walmart (circa end
Feb. 2018, Any Town or Busy Town, USA), and bought “T-fal Comfort, Dripless Baster
Poire Anti-Goutte” … According to the
packaging… For $9.97 (with the black
bulb as shown below). The other is a
“Tasty” “2PC BASTER SET” for $5.44… Keep
in mind, you do NOT want (if’n ye want to stay in the Good Graces of Government
Almighty) to build such a MONSTEROUS device as is described above, and ye do
NOT want to maximize the internal volume of the tube, nor do you want to
custom-cut your reed for filling the internal space, while providing
clearance! That said, the black-bulb one
is probably the one you want the LEAST, since it has more internal volume! (It is more potentially full of SIN against
Government Almighty!). That said, I used
“Dripless Baster Poire Anti-Goutte” as a shopping search-string, and found https://www.amazon.com/Prepworks-Progressive-Drip-less-Basting-Brush/dp/B0002UZRWO as a sample site... With that, I am DONE, I am thoroughly BASTED
and WASTED! Happy shopping (If’n ye
DARE, which I do ***NOT*** recommend!).
I have NOT built the
above-described MONSTROUS device, because I am full of chicken by-products,
if’n ye know what I mean, BAWK-BAWK-BOOOK-GAWK-GOOK!!! Good luck to all; you are gonna NEED it!!!
Well OK then, what I mean by
the above is, I am afraid of the Ever-Loving Graces of Government Almighty, so
I did NOT build it! If you REALLY want
me to build it, to learn more, let me know, and, after having built it, I will
test and photograph it (actually, have my religious EFFIGY test it), then BURN
it, offering it as a “burnt sacrifice” to Government Almighty! And then HOPE AND PRAY that I will escape the
Ever-Loving Graces of said Government Almighty!
And then I can let you know what I have learned! But do NOT (I BEG of you!) lightly ask this
of me, lest I sin needlessly against Government Almighty!!!